So I figured it was time to update my Twilight fic!!!!! lol
New Twilight Sunshine Mary Erotica, Part II
Sunshine Mary was sitting up in her hospital bed one day looking in a mirror. “I really should post more videos to prove that I look like I am in my thirties,” she thought to herself as suddenly, Edward Cullen the male nurse walked into the room.
“Hello, Sunshine Mary!” he said. “My shift is over and I’ve washed my hands after that incident in Room 4. Bend over so I can fill your love tank.”
“Oh Edward Cullen,” said Sunshine Mary. “I’m really not in the mood. I have a brain tumor caused by humorless feminists. My muscles have atrophied and I am bleeding from my ears.”
Edward Cullen sat down beside the bed. His handsome, manly face took on a serious look. The pink scrubs he was wearing clearly defined his sparkly, muscular form.
“Sunshine Mary, you silly woman,” he said sternly. “Don’t you realize that right now is the most important time for you to enjoy my semen?”
“Why?” asked Sunshine Mary, blinking her pretty eyes femininely.
“Because semen is full of microbiomes and is an antidepressant. This is a scientific fact that has been confirmed by literally millions of studies.”
“Oh!” said Sunshine Mary. “I guess I was being emotional and didn’t realize how important it was to consume your semen.”
“I forgive you, Sunshine Mary. You are a woman, after all.”
Sunshine Mary giggled. Edward Cullen looked stern again. “In fact, because I am Edward Cullen, my semen has properties more magic than even the semen of a regular red-pill MRA alpha male. You see, it contains glitter. Because I am a vampire.”
“Oh Edward Cullen, how wonderful,” exclaimed Sunshine Mary, adjusting her attractive side bangs. “It cures all womanly ailments, and it’s useful when crafting. Is there anything more manly than a male nurse who ejaculates glitter?”
“Maybe if I also drove a mini,” said Edward Cullen. “But I drive a Volvo.”
Then Edward Cullen took off his scrubs to reveal his muscular, alpha form, his firm biceps toned from years of throwing pagers at women. Then he filled Sunshine Mary’s love tank.
“Sunshine Mary,” he said afterwards, “That was great and all, but you know, lying in this hospital bed with your brain tumor is starting to make you fat. Haha, I’m just joking!”
Sunshine Mary laughed and laughed. She was glad that she was not a feminist, so that she could appreciate Edward Cullen’s sophisticated sense of humor.
TO BE CONTINUED…?
Sunshine Mary 
Might I suggest a fan-fic piece about a hot alpha Russian admirer taken by Sunshine’s domestic skills (cooking, gardening, baby making, etc.)? You could read through her last few posts for inspiration.
Or, a post about the evils of artificial birth control and the joy of having a quiverful of children.
I totally want some of that crafty semen, but my husband doesn’t have glitter semen. : ( However, he does drive my vul … oh, volvo. Never mind.
Good story overall, but you should have had Sunshine Mary wear glittery hooker shoes. Mind you, she wears them only in her bedroom, never at church. The soles are still as clean as the day she bought them.
Maybe you could write about Sunshine Mary’s ongoing warning to women that they must marry by age 30, otherwise they will become lonely spinsters with lots of cats. As everyone knows, no one wants a woman who has “hit the wall,” especially the alpha studs who comment on her blog.
Love this blog. Love it!
Could I suggest following HHG around for a day as a male nurse in a hospital, cleaning, taking care of feminist patients (sponge baths, etc), taking orders from female doctors, etc. ??
So glad I found your new & expanded blog. You are so funny & creative! Thank you! Looking forward to Part Two of this story.
Have you checked out Mr. No More’s blog? Google avpd nmmng. Maria did a wonderful cartoon of you know who. Over there she is called “Shitshow” or “Raincloud.”
Have a nice Labor Day Weekend, GaryLady!
Oops, this was Part Two!
The comments are so hilarious & clever, too.
Except, I saw on another post you know who showed up…do not be intimidated, GaryLady!
How did I miss this blog for the entire month of August.