Ask Sunshine Mary: Answers!

HolyhandgrenadePhil writes:

If you’d have used your mouth instead of your hand, you wouldn’t have tendonitis.

That’s all I’m saying.

That is not even a question 😦

Andrea writes:

How do you keep the anger, hurt and resentment under control so that you can be the submissive wife your husband needs?

What anger, hurt, and resentment? Blogging thousands of words weekly about how other women suck is obviously the result of happiness and security, and I really feel sorry for you if you don’t realize that.

If you have anger, hurt and resentment in your life, Andrea, you should consider having children. It is totally the cure for any kind of human suffering (I think it even says so in the Bible. I would check, but for some reason my copy keeps bursting into flames whenever I touch it). I had four daughters and just look at how sanctified I am.

Also, how do you protect yourself from STIs since you don’t believe in using condoms?

I don’t know what you’re talking about or what that doctor told you, but neither me nor HHG has an STI. Only slutty fat feminists get STIs and anyway, it’s just a rash caused by these crotchless panties.

Elphaba writes:

Rumor has it your readers have dubbed themselves “The Celibate Gang.” Are incel males both married and un your target market?

I don’t know where you heard this “rumor”, Elphaba, but chances are you are an unhappy fat feminist spinster who doesn’t even have side bangs. It is logically impossible for my followers to be incel, because they read my blog and are therefore dominant alpha males who can turn on sex-crazed feminine submission like a light switch. In fact, my readers should be admired for their restraint. They COULD be having all the sex and meaningful relationships and non-basement domiciles they want, but they are choosing not to in order to fight feminism.

However, if by chance an incel male or two DOES wander onto my blog (maybe he is married but his wife is a fat brainwashed feminist slut and even his alpha charms don’t work on her, and even slapping her around doesn’t help) I will soon be marketing a Sunshine Mary blow-up doll to service their needs. She will feature side bangs, a black turtleneck, baggy mom jeans, black eyeliner, and crotchless panties, and she will look at least ten years younger than her age. Oh, and of course she will have a realistic “love tank” for needy readers to fill up. Expect a kickstarter project soon 🙂

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