REAL ULTIMATE WOMEN (Guest Post by HHG!)

FACTS

1. Real ultimate women are mammals, which means they breastfeed but also satisfy their husbands
2. Real ultimate women think about blow jobs ALL the time
3. The purpose of real ultimate women is to sexually satisfy their men, just like traditional wives have totally done forever

WEAPONS AND GEAR

crockpot
apron
ice pack
lube
hidden vodka bottle
copy of How to Kill the Entertainment Monster and Restore Family Unity

TESTIMONIAL

Traditional women can clean anything they want! Traditional women clean the toilet in pearls all the time and don’t even think twice about it. These ladies are so feminine and awesome that they are ladylike ALL THE TIME. I heard there was this traditional wife eating at a diner (with her husband of course) and when her husband was like “honey your meatloaf isn’t as good as this” she flipped out and killed the whole town, but then she brought them back to life so she could learn how to make meatloaf to please her man. My friend Mark says he saw a traditional wife have sex two weeks postpartum just because she was afraid otherwise her husband would cheat on her.

THAT’S WHAT I CALL REAL UTLIMATE POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t believe traditional wives have REAL ULTIMATE POWER you’re deluded by Satan and totally going to hell no matter how many Vision Forum products you buy. It’s an easy choice if you ask me.

Traditional wives are soooooo feminine I want to keep them, at least until they’re not hot anymore or can’t have kids and I have a shot at another one without paying child support. I can’t believe it sometimes but I feel it my heart. These women are totally feminine and that’s a fact. Traditional wives are fast (at cleaning), smooth (duh), cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can’t wait to take the red pill. I love traditional wives with all of my body (including my pee pee) (except that’s probably against Leviticus)

Q AND A

Why is everybody so obsessed with traditional wives? 

Traditional wives are the ultimate paradox, on the one hand men are so superior traditional wives can’t get anything right, on the other hand, you leave your children with them.

I heard that traditional wives are always cruel or mean. What’s their problem? 

Whoever told you that is a total liar, unless they’re talking about sunshine mary when she meets someone who only has 3 kids and doesn’t even run!

What do traditional wives do when they’re not making meat loaf or performing fellatio?

Most of their free time is spent in rich and abundant childcare, but sometimes they blog about proverbs 31.

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